The Dumbest Thing You Will Read Today.

Every couple of months I need new dish soap. Every couple of months I buy Dawn dish soap and every couple of months it seems to get stronger.


I have no fucking clue.

Are we upping the artillery in the never ending grease wars?

It worked fine the time before that and the time before that. It’s good soap. But now I’m sitting here on a beautiful Saturday morning (a rarity that I’m not being forced to work overtime) staring at this new bottle of Dawn dish soap and wondering why it needs to be “4X the Grease Cleaning Power”

I remember when it was “3X the grease cleaning power” Hell, I’m old enough to remember when it was just the weak ass “2x the grease cleaning power” formula.

Is grease growing more powerful? Is it evolving? Has it had enough of simply clogging our drains and arteries and decided on a more sinister mission? Are we upping the artillery in the never ending grease wars?

Or is the food? It couldn’t be the food…could it? There been a 57 percent increase in the amount of added fats and oils Americans eat since 1970. In the same period, added sugar consumption went up by 10 percent according to the USDA In this article from VOX.

So with more grease and fats in our diet we’re getting stronger dish soap? Makes sense.

Or could it be something even more sinister?

Could it be the same dish soap every time just dyed different colors? A grease fighting exponent slapped on the side of the bottle to justify its over inflated price? They wouldn’t do that would they? Cmon – these are the same people that gently washed all the duckys when those gigantic assholes spilled their precious oil everywhere.

So what is it? Why does it keep getting more powerful? Why are the scientists over at the Dawn dish soap labs so hellbent on making the most powerful grease cleaning concentrate the world has ever seen? Why am I writing this? Why did you read this?

We may never know.

But one thing we both can count on in the near future will be a Dawn dish soap that has 5X the grease cleaning power.

Give me food, money, beer or kill me:

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4 responses to “The Dumbest Thing You Will Read Today.”

  1. Maybe the engineers are in too deep on a contest to out do one another so every couple years they move the goal post lol

    1. 😂 😂 Some of the greatest minds in science are diligently toiling away in the Dawn dish soap labs because they keep one upping one another’s grease fighting formulas 😂

  2. […] Buffalo Retro brings up the MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION of our time. Do we have to worry about the upcoming grease apocalypse? Why does Dawn need to get more and more […]

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