Shadow Net Series 18: The Crouton

A minimalist masterpiece.

In between emailing cults, writing about dangerous virgins, pestering activists and harassing strangers on the internet about the validity of the satanic rituals they published online sometimes you just have to sit back and admire the beauty in simplicity.

Which leads us to: Crouton.Net

Go on – go visit it- I’ll wait. It won’t take long for you to understand the concept of the website.

Pretty cool, huh?

I knew you weren’t going to go to the website so I took a picture of it for you, you’re welcome.

Crouton.Net is just that. A fuckin’ crouton. Just drifting in a sea of nothingness. It sort of moves if you drag on it? I even focused in on the poorly animated piece of bread. I am not a crouton expert but I can confidently state that I have seen better looking croutons.

The Crouton actually looks more like a tator tot.

So… not much is known about the site. I think I traced it back to December 2010? That was its earliest appearance. It has remained unchanged since. No one seems to know who made it or is taking any responsibility for it. Just a strange website being paid for for the past eleven years for reasons far beyond my imagination.

If you are the owner or know the owner of this site please email me at:

I’d love to hear from you.

Maybe it acts as allegory for the human condition in the digital age. Online, with an unlimited wealth of knowledge, entertainment, taboo and social interaction at your finger tips the internet has been accepted as our all knowing, all seeing God. Spoon fed our passages no longer by holy books but our social media prognosticators. Our greatest fears provoked and soothed by the same invisible hands.

All reason for free thought, question and self discovery now completely unnecessary. Turning our brains into a little soggy crouton. Or something.

Moving on:

A few house keeping notes I wanted to document here to my very, very few regular readers. The blog’s readership this past summer has exceeded my highest expectations and I wanted to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for spending absolutely any time reading any dumb bullshit I post.

Secondly, speaking of emails – for anyone that remembers my Shadow Net Series entry about Forgotten Languages (Language of the Vampyr) I had ended the entry with a bit of a shot in the dark – asking the “leader” of Forgotten Languages to email if he/she ever read this. Assuming it would go completely unnoticed. But it did not. Ayndryl did read the post and reach out to me. They were a very good sport about the post and enjoyed it. Now I’m just waiting for them to email me the cipher used to decode their brilliant coded languages. *Wink Wink*

“Rockin’ the town like a moldy crouton
Flyin’ through the air with breeze”

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